Michael K Houser's Blog

Wiring Nightmare

Well it’s finally Friday and I hope you’re excited about the weekend like me! This is a Lakers “Gold” weekend so I better not see green anything.

Through the years of being in the security industry, with over 51,000 experience, I have seen it all from systems easily defeated in a burglary, systems that cause false alarms, to poorly designed systems where you would have more protection sitting in a diesel truck filled with explosives ramming into a nitro-glycerin factory.

How do I know about these systems? Simple, we are the “A” Team and our job is to go into your home and business and clean up this junk and provide a safe and secure environment that lasts for decades! Plus, most of our referrals are from clients who thought the experts really were experts. Well, enough about the A Team let’s talk about the worst install of an control panel:

As seen and witnessed from Electronic Eye:

1. Control panel installed at floor height. Great height to service a panel if you have a 6 inch installer!

2. Control Panel installed inside a unprotected garage (courtesy of a national alarm company known by 3 letters). So convenient for a burglar to easily defeat a system without ever having to break in. I also like the stickers on the panel that easily direct you to the brain of the system.

3. Control panel installed at back door with keypad attached (courtesy of the national alarm company that sells $99.00 systems). Again, I always love it when an alarm company makes its system easily available for a burglar to defeat without using tools and a ladder. It always nice for the entry alert on the keypad to lead you directly to brain of the system. Our window stickers provide better security than these poorly designed systems.

4. Control Panel installed in a home with over 80 openings, with all the wires ran directly back to the control panel. This would have been OK back in the Jurassic era of alarm systems, but in the 80’s they invented a device called a “zone expander”. This makes wiring a home easy by running wires to expanders that run back to the control panel. Nice and neat and extremely easy to troubleshoot. But this type of system requires intelligent design.

5. Control panel with masking tape slices inside. Back in 1994 we bought an alarm company where the standard for everything was using masking tape. Now don’t get me wrong I like masking tape, especially when I paint. But masking tape splices in alarm installations is like electing Jerry “moonbeam” Brown to balance the California budget. It won’t work and only creates a bigger gob of mess!

Coming next week, “worst installation location of an Infrared”.

Farouk Al-Hadi and his wife, Elaine, are suing Climate Control Inc. in Multnomah County Circuit Court. They say the company installed a faulty temporary cooling system in the wine cellar at their Lake Oswego home. Farouk Al-Hadi says he ventured to the cellar to discover his prized wine collection in 97-degree heat. They want $250,000 for damage to their personal property.

NOT ON MY WATCH! With “Virtual Connect” always know anytime anywhere what the temperature is and know immediately if the temperature changes.

For more information on how to save your wine collection go to “SAVE MY WINE from becoming 2 buck Chuck”

BY: Michael K. Houser

It always starts with a FREE to $99.00 alarm system designed by the three stooges of security. Now you may be wondering who Moe, Larry and Curly are, but if you have ever used the services of these clowns you might refer to them as Dumb and Dumber.

I might add that after seeing these systems easily defeated by a crack addict looking for some easy dough, one might conclude that there is no intelligent life in the security industry. OK, I will stop ranting about the companies that your local police have made a killing on with false alarm fines.

Without further ado here are my top 5 worst keypad installations:

1. Keypad installed at a height of six feet to keep the baby from playing with the buttons. Good thing that the whole family was over 6′9″.
2. Keypad installed in a bathroom. I always like to know the status of my alarm system while on the royal throne, geez!
3. Keypad installed at a height of 14″ from the floor. This was a perfect height for the dog to use the keypad; too bad the keypad was not paw friendly.
4. Keypad installed above a stove. Talk about getting burned for using the wrong code.
5. Keypad installed with double-sided tape. No need to waste all that time using a cordless drill and a couple of screws.

Coming next week “Worst install of an alarm control panel”.

The Los Angeles Fire Department offers Halloween safety tips.

Before Halloween

* Plan costumes that are bright and reflective. Make sure that shoes fit well and that costumes are short enough to prevent tripping, entanglement or contact with flame.
* Consider adding reflective tape or striping to costumes and trick-or-treat bags for greater visibility.
* Secure emergency identification (name, address, phone number) discreetly within Halloween attire or on a bracelet.
* Because a mask can limit or block eyesight, consider non-toxic and hypoallergenic makeup or a decorative hat as a safe alternative.
* When shopping for costumes, wigs and accessories, purchase only those with a label indicating they are flame resistant.
* Think twice before using simulated knives, guns or swords. If such props must be used, be certain they do not appear authentic and are soft and flexible to prevent injury.
* Obtain flashlights with fresh batteries for all children and their escorts.
* Plan ahead to use only battery powered lanterns or chemical lightsticks in place of candles in decorations and costumes.
* This is also a great time to buy fresh batteries for your home Smoke Alarms.
* Teach children their home phone number and to how call 9-1-1 (or their local emergency number) if they have an emergency or become lost. Remind them that 9-1-1 can be dialed free from any phone.
* Review with your children the principle of “Stop-Drop-Roll”, should their clothes catch on fire.
* Openly discuss appropriate and inappropriate behavior at Halloween time.
* Consider purchasing individually packaged healthy food alternatives (or safe non-food treats) for those who visit your home.
* Take extra effort to eliminate tripping hazards on your porch and walkway. Check around your property for flower pots, low tree limbs, support wires or garden hoses that may prove hazardous to young children rushing from house to house.
* Learn or review CPR skills to aid someone who is choking or having a heart attack.
* Consider safe party guidelines when hosting an adult or office party.
Fun Alternatives

* Find a special event or start one in your own neighborhood.
* Community centers, shopping malls and houses of worship may have organized festivities.
* Share the fun by arranging a visit to a Retirement Home or Senior Center.
* Create an alliance with college fraternities, sororities or service clubs for children’s face painting or a carnival.

Before Nightfall On Halloween

* A good meal prior to parties and trick-or-treating will discourage youngsters from filling up on Halloween treats.
* Consider fire safety when decorating. Do not overload electrical outlets with holiday lighting or special effects, and do not block exit doors.
* While children can help with the fun of designing a Jack O’ Lantern, leave the carving to adults.
* Always keep Jack O’ Lanterns and hot electric lamps far away from drapes, decorations, flammable materials or areas where children and pets will be standing or walking.
* Plan and review with your children the route and behavior which is acceptable to you.
* Do not permit children to bicycle, roller-blade or skateboard.
* Agree on a specific time when revelers must return home.
* Along with flashlights for all, older children and escorts should wear a wristwatch and carry coins for non-emergency phone calls.
* Confine, segregate or otherwise prepare household pets for an evening of frightful sights and sounds. Be sure that all dogs and cats are wearing collars and proper identification tags. Consult your veterinarian for further advice.
* Remind all household drivers to remain cautious and drive slowly throughout the community.
* Adult party goers should establish and reward a designated driver.

When Trick-Or-Treating

* A Parent or responsible Adult should always accompany young children on their neighborhood rounds.

Remind Trick-or-Treaters:

* By using a flashlight, they can see and be seen by others.
* Stay in a group, walk slowly and communicate where you are going.
* Only trick-or-treat in well known neighborhoods at homes that have a porch light on.
* Remain on well-lit streets and always use the sidewalk.
* If no sidewalk is available, walk at the farthest edge of the roadway facing traffic.
* Never cut across yards or use alleys.
* Never enter a stranger’s home or car for a treat.
* Obey all traffic and pedestrian regulations.
* Always walk. Never run across a street.
* Only cross the street as a group in established crosswalks (as recognized by local custom).
* Remove any mask or item that will limit eyesight before crossing a street, driveway or alley.
* Don’t assume the right of way. Motorists may have trouble seeing Trick-or-Treaters. Just because one car stops, doesn’t mean others will.
* Never consume unwrapped food items or open beverages that may be offered.
* No treats are to be eaten until they are thoroughly checked by an Adult at home.
* Law Enforcement authorities should be notified immediately of any suspicious or unlawful activity.

After Trick-Or-Treating

* Wait until children are home to sort and check treats. Though tampering is rare, a responsible Adult should closely examine all treats and throw away any spoiled, unwrapped or suspicious items.
* Try to apportion treats for the days following Halloween.
* Although sharing is encouraged, make sure items that can cause choking (such as hard candies), are given only to those of an appropriate age.

During the California gold rush R. U. Darby, a gold prospector, helped his uncle mine a vein of gold that his relative had discovered. It appeared at first that they had a prosperous find. Yet the vein soon disappeared, and Darby and his uncle searched frantically for the spot where it continued. Finally, they concluded their prospects were hopeless and sold their equipment to a junk dealer for a couple of hundred bucks.

The junk dealer consulted an engineer, who looked at the mine and did a little calculating. The engineer advised that the project failed because Darby and his Uncle were not familiar with “fault lines” in the earth’s core. The junk dealer quickly discovered the vein of gold just three feet from where Darby and his uncle had stopped digging and went on to make millions from the ore.

This story (which is illustrated in the classic Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill) points out how important battles in life are often won by persistence. It reminds us that we can give up on a goal too easily and are sometimes much closer to hitting our mark than we realize.

Recently Greg Reid and Sharon Lechter released a book named “Three Feet From Gold” and held a seminar in Anaheim last weekend at The Grove. The event was fantastic and feature several speakers who had overcame similar events as R.U Darby in their life.

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1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
7. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
“DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
“What?”
“Never mind, it’s gone now.”
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”